Honestly, Openly Me

First, please forgive any typo's or grammer issues, I'm not exactly known for my care in editing what I write. I write it and I share it and re-read it a day later and regret it. I'm at work on break, so you understand... Okay, I was sort of working on a post detailing my so called spiritual awakening, which at one time, I was so sure was real. I say that, yet I was questioning and doubting every sign and sync and feeling the whole time. I told myself I'm crazy and imagining everything the whole. entire. time. Yet I still chose to try to have faith and believe in the things that are unseen, unknown and what I have now decided is unreal.  It sucks when you want so much to believe in something, especially when it was so profound and life altering for me personally. What I went though has changed everything, in the most destructive way. I have come to the conclusion that if it were a true spiritual awakening, I would have surely come out of this pit of darkness by now. I b

What a couple years it's been. I have had so much going on, yet nothing at all it seems. I'm not even sure where I left off. I know I was sharing some poetry and things like that but with everything happening in my life and all the emotions and frustrations, ups and downs, I just thought maybe this is the outlet I need. I've been sharing things on my Instagram account, which has been my only emotional outlet for a few years now. I have some really amazing followers who support me and appreciate my "realness" which is seriously lacking on social media. It also confuses people who are used to seeing more positive type posts from people. People share how wonderful and happy their lives are and leave out all the not so positive aspects and it makes for a very 1 dimensional account. I like to share my pain. I don't know why because it kills me when people don't understand and judge me for my openness.  I definitely am someone who vents more of my frustrations,