Gasping For Air

It's been a few weeks since I've taken a moment to breath. To reflect. To write.
Work is piling up quickly, just like all the thoughts in my head,
building and building until it becomes unmanageable.
I have to take better care of myself.
The other day, during a rare moment of relaxation, I suddenly gasped for air.
I felt like I was drowning and finally reached the surface for air.
It was so strange and scary. I've never felt that kind of panic before,
and I've had anxiety off and on for years.
I felt like I had died for a second and suddenly came back for one more try.
One more desperate attempt to get it right, not ready to call it quits.
It had me in such terror for days, afraid to go to sleep, worrying if I will wake up or not.
What's wrong with me?
I work really hard at what I do. I love what I do.
But maybe it is consuming me.
Or is it something else altogether?
I need to take a moment to breath,
so I'm not gasping for air, unexpectedly.

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